It is not my responsibility to make a man orgasm and I do not have to have guilt for that. You see, as a 30 something single woman it has been engrained in me that blue balls are this terrible thing that I must at all cost keep the other from experiencing. So, if I get a man turned on then I am required to see the deed done. And yet as a 30 something single woman sometimes I crave intimacy not a nut, but society has told me I am not allowed that, not unless I pay the price of that nut.
But why is it that what we allow them to tell us this? Sometimes I long for a soft touch, a hand running through my hair, a kiss on the forehead, a long hug, a snuggle while watching a movie, and a shoulder to lay my head on; true intimacy if you will. But no, society has told me that by wanting any of these things I am a clingy, needy woman who is far too emotional and as such has turned me into a lonely woman afraid of touch and surviving in my wounded masculine to protect this fragile heart. Because if I hear myself called crazy or over emotional one more time I may actually break into a thousand pieces on this very floor.
So instead I have decided to change the narrative and as I stand here before you today I strongly declare… “It is not my responsibility to make a man orgasm!”
True intimacy is about the creation of love, of being together in the moment and giving and receiving of energy. It is his job to lead me to love, to be the structure to my raging sea of emotions; to guide me to ecstasy.
My job is to feel everything and understand those feelings. To then in turn help him understand those same emotions because that is where the magic lies. I am the paint and he is the paint brush creating the masterpiece of love. When true love and intimacy is being shared it is my job to provide every color in the rainbow; to pour my love all over the canvas. It is his job to make sense of the chaos of color that I provide. To use his tools to create the picture. Only together trusting each other completely, using every color and tool that we have will we create our best work.
A real man shows up with his tools ready to take his time to learn his woman. To study and understand her. To listen to her needs and study all of the shades that she has to give. For every woman has her own unique pallet. It is his job to understand the best use of those colors. Maybe sometimes he mixes the wrong colors, that is ok: he learned from that lesson.
Maybe he has to play with the textures and shades to discover what works best together. This is a learning process for both and both are responsible for communicating their likes, dislikes, and opinions.
It is the woman’s job to fully surrender to the process. To not hold anything back and to give her man every shade she has available. How does he use his tools effectively if he does not know everything he is working with? It takes both trusting, giving, playing, working, and communicating together fully to get to that masterpiece. It is a lot of work and takes time and patience but two Souls working together to create that perfect masterpiece of love is where true success of life is birthed.
Success is Happiness, it is true intimacy.
Sex does not equate to Orgasm but instead it is the creation of love.