"I can do hard things" has been my mantra for this Hard 30. This morning a new understanding, a new lens, hit me while saying this mantra and powering through my chosen morning adversity.
First it is important to understand that I live my life by one important rule: Everything happens exactly as it is meant to. Because I live my life by this rule I never judge myself or dwell on things from my past because I believe everything happens exactly as it needs to in order to get me exactly here, to this moment in time and space.
And even when this moment is a hard one I am grateful for it. Because of this rule I do not waste time or energy wondering how I could have done things differently or if I made a "right" or "wrong" decision. I don't believe in "right" or "wrong" I believe there "is" and there "isn't."
So in the middle of a storm of chaos (usually of my own doing because I am somewhat of a jump now ask questions later kind of woman) I am not wasting energy sitting there second guessing myself or judging myself. I am using all of my energy to observe the situation I am in. Then, I quickly and robustly formulate my best moves out of said situation. Like a game of chess if you will.
That being said once the valley is waded through, the storm successfully navigated, the chaos passed, I do go back to analyze all of my moves to make sure I learn through that lesson. This morning while showering off the sweat from my chosen adversity I was doing just that when this new lens hit me. Knowledge that I had previously known but that was becoming part of me at an even deeper level of consciousness as tends to happen as I navigate the layers of this existence.
This morning during this time I realized that I had needed my softer seasons while I repaired my body from the years of stress that living in survival mode had put me in. As I healed my root chakra. My base. From doing hard things that I HAD to just to survive another day. Because that was the story that I was living. The truth I believed. Even though it wasn't my truth and was disconnected from my heart's desire. My nervous system needed a break so that it could reset, so I let my body rest.
Then I entered a season of play. A season of inner child healing and doing things purely because I wanted to, no matter what anyone else thought. As I healed my sacral chakra and listened to my desires and followed those, I began to create and dream about the life that I wanted. I tapped into my art for the first time in what felt like a very long time. In my yin energy I was able to receive information about what my heart truly desired. Not the picture that others had painted, but my own unique art.
Now I am entering a season of true balance. Of doing HARD things because I can. Because I know that improving upon my foundation helps me build a stronger structure. I am flexing that solar plexus as I stand in my affirmations and "I am" statements.
"I am a warrior. I am a bada**. I am fierce. I am powerful. And I CAN do hard things."
I am choosing adversity because I can. Because I know the pain leads me to my deepest pleasure. The deepest valleys to my highest peaks. Strengthening my structure allows me to hold even more chaos for even greater expansion. I have BIG dreams that I desire to attain and I have the power and the ability to chase those dreams. And everything I need for each new day is already contained inside of me.
My yang energy is powerful enough to produce the desires that my yin energy whispers to it. My masculine honoring my feminine by building the life she truly desires and asking her to desire more. To go even deeper. To dream even bigger. Purposely putting us through hard things to prove to us over and over again that we can do it all. Together. In perfect harmony. Through each cycle and each season. Not judging her, not blaming her for the storms she puts us in. But knowing that together we can handle anything that comes our way.
I am choosing to do hard things. I am enjoying my sweat and the burn in my muscles. And with each new hard rep I am daring to dream even bigger. Because I can see my strength, my power, in each adversity I claw my way out of.
My yang energy is proving to my yin energy that we got this. That we are safe. That at the end of the day it is all play. No matter what comes our way.
We do hard things. So when hard things find us it's just another Tuesday. Just another grand adventure that will one day be a great story to tell.
Workouts lead by a trainer.
Creating rules to live by.
Choosing adversity daily (pick 1 thing a day and figure out how to physically make it harder).