I quit my job of 13 years about a month ago. Just up and quit. Well, not really. I had been thinking about it for six months or so but to most it looked like I up and quit a perfectly good job with a perfectly good paycheck and health benefits. But the truth is I hadn’t been happy there for some time. My soul was dying a slow death being disconnected from it’s dharma. It was great and the company was a safe space for me to grow into the woman that I was becoming but I had hit that point where I knew there was more to life and the call on my heart to start a new adventure was deafening. So I jumped. Straight out of that airplane, with no parachute. It was absolutely terrifying especially with everyone around me screaming at me that I was loosing my mind. But I had this inner knowing after multiple conversations with my creator. So I did what I knew in my heart to be best.
The unknown path has not been easy this past month. I’m not sure what I expected exactly. Maybe that white knight riding in on the horse that I continue to say I don’t need but secretly in my heart of hearts desperately want. Maybe a surprise lottery winning even though I refuse to play the lottery. Don’t get me wrong miracles show up daily. And I mean daily, with things that I need and jobs to get me through. Plus I am a hard worker so I am not afraid of soul satisfying work when it comes. But I found myself at the grocery store the other day wanting cookies and champagne after a rough week and knowing that it was only in this new budget for one or the other. I stood there in the aisle with both in my hand going back and forth. Honestly I probably should have put both down but I was determined to walk away with something so I put the champagne down and went with the $6 cookies instead.
I went home that evening and watched a movie snuggled on the couch with my pup enjoying every bite of my cookies and didn’t think twice about the champagne. I sat in my favorite spot with my favorite cookies in gratitude for all of the abundance I did have and for the blessing of being my own boss with no one and nothing to answer to. There are many things I would be willing to give up to be able to enjoy this new, easier flowing way of life. So the fact that I still got to keep my cookies was a blessing in my eyes.
Today is the start of Mardi Gras and I had a beautiful morning sharing my sound bowls at my favorite yoga studio and then stopped at the local farmer’s market on my way home to browse around. I knew I didn’t have any money to spend but it was a beautiful day and I was told to look for the local author’s guild that meets there occasionally. As I wandered through the vendors admiring their art and striking up casual conversations with new friends I couldn’t help but smile.
Old me would have felt anxious going there by myself first of all and then she would have felt guilty for not having any money to spend so she wouldn’t have appreciated the art that was in front of her. This version of me was open, talkative, and honest about yes I would love to buy your products but I am not in a space at this time where I can. But let’s exchange information and we will reconnect when the timing is right. It was a beautiful comparison of what was and what is now. How quickly one can completely reinvent oneself when one commits to the process.
Towards the back of the market the most beautiful macaroons called my name. I saw the name of the vendor and knew it was a company I had been stalking on Instagram for some time after hearing about how amazing their vegan macaroons where. My first instinct was to not even go by her because I knew how badly I wanted a macaroon and also how badly my budget needed me to say no. But I went up to her anyway and started a conversation. I was honest when she asked if I would like some cookies and said “Absolutely! But I will need to wait for my next visit” as I began to open up to her and tell her about the adventure I was on. I was even honest about stalking her insta and how I had heard nothing but good things about her and the company. We had a beautiful conversation on a completely different topic that I am studying currently and I know we will be meeting up again multiple times in the future as we were meant to cross paths today. And as I went to leave this sweet fairy boxed up the last of her macaroons and sent them home with me just because.
Abundance. It comes in so many forms. I ate every one of these sensational treats and sent gratitude for her and for life out into the world with every bite that I took. I think this way of living is the key to proper appreciation for life’s little gifts you see. And I believe this is why the universe loves to show up for me time and time again, because of this pure joy these little gifts give me.
Later I went to the grocery store to get my weekly groceries and they had a lady giving out samples of a new liquor. It was good but definitely not in the budget. But that got me thinking about the champagne again. I still wanted it, and it was Mardi Gras. So I wondered over to the champagne section and found myself one under $10 and with the savings I had got on a few other items it was definitely in budget today so I treated myself. As I was leaving the grocery store, so happy I was almost skipping, a voice popped in my head that said “You can always have the cookies and the champagne, you just have to ask.” I stopped dead in my tracks and started laughing, then crying.
I knew this was my father, my creator, speaking to me and telling me it was all going to be ok. That yes I have been asked to sacrifice some things now but nothing that actually hurts me. In fact everything I have been asked to sacrifice was to prosper me, not to harm me, and it is always my free will to do the sacrificing. Is it scary in the moment? Absolutely, down right terrifying I must admit. But once it’s all said and done I am winding up with the cookies and the champagne, both better than I could ever have imagined the first time I thought of them.
Sometimes we are asked to sacrifice instant gratification in the pursuit of long term success. Sometimes we are asked to choose between the cookies and the champagne. But when we listen and follow the steps that are laid out in front of us God always shows up with more cookies and champagne and it’s even better than we ever could have imagined. The key is to ask, and then be open to receive the blessings as they come in. And then to appreciate it all by living with a heart wide open in a state of unconditional love and gratitude. Because what is meant for me will always be for me, and what is not will float right on by.
So next time you desire something just ask for it, then keep your eyes open for the unexpected ways that it shows up. The universe is playful after all and it takes the eyes of innocence and play to see the unexpected treasures all around, just waiting to be grabbed on this life journey. Happy Mardi Gras friends, I hope today you each get the cookies and the champagne and a a heart that is grateful for such abundance.